


If You Want To

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: Episode Tag, F/M, Original Character - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2001-10-06
Updated: 2001-10-06
Packaged: 2019-05-15 11:13:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 649
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14789444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: And all ou wanted was somebody who'd care. . .





	If You Want To

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

If You Want To   
Rating: PG-13   
Category: Sam/OFC   
Spoilers: "Somebody's Going to Emergency, Somebody's Going to Jail"   
Feedback: [samwest5@hotmail.com](mailto:samwest5@hotmail.com)   
Disclaimers: Characters are not mine, copyright Aaron Sorkin, even the woman (can you guess who she is?). Song "All You Wanted" is by Michelle Branch. Don't bother flaming me on this. It's just a short little story that asked me to write it.   
Summary: "And all you wanted was somebody who'd care..." 

Dedication: For J, and all those others that have to want to be saved.   
\- - - - 

He is in church; a place that has been alien for some time. But he cannot evade it any longer. 

He does not look for a miracle, just a reason to believe. It's been so hard. He needs help. 

So much pain. *So* much hurt. 

He prays for himself and for his mother. 

** if you want to,   
  i can save you ** 

He is startled by a voice behind him. "Hello." 

"Hello." What is she doing here? 

She does not speak again. He sees her small hands joined and turns to do the same. Yet he can't get away from the fact that she is here. Probably praying for her father. 

Time passes. He mumbles the Lord's Prayer. 

Perhaps it is the sound that moves her to speak. "Donna told me what happened. I'm sorry." 

He barely acknowledges her words, but she persists. "I have to ask you." 

"What?" 

The words tumble like the wisps of her hair. "Are you comfortable with yourself?" 

No. 

"Why?" 

Because. 

"Because you lied to me." 

** i can take you   
    away from here ** 

His tone is quiet. "How did I lie to you?" 

She does not answer but she does. 

You know how you lied. 

Silence again. "I was trying to protect you." Footsteps echo like their empty promises on the cold floor. 

"I know." 

But you shouldn't have. 

He loses his temper. "Did you want to tell your father that his father was a spy?" 

"It's not about that." 

"Oh, really." His voice is rising but quickly hushed. Something profane has occurred. 

She is utterly calm with a tempest brewing underneath. "It should have been my decision to make." 

What? 

"You should have told me. Then I could decide for myself whether to tell my father the truth. It's the principle of the thing." Her eyes burn him with their sorrow. "You deceived me." 

You asked for my help. I didn't want to hurt you. 

"You're as bad as your father." 

Don't say that! 

** so lonely inside   
    so busy out there ** 

He springs to his feet, ready to leave her behind. 

"Please." One word. 

"What." What is he doing? There is a wall of fire coming; she had best not be in its path. 

Remember. 

"Remember you?" 

Remember and change. You're a good man. 

"Am I." 

You are a good man. You are not beyond redemption. You think you are. 

He laughs. It is true. Ever since he has begun to doubt himself; began to see himself as the betrayed. Now he has turned into the betrayer. 

"What should I do?" 

"Stop being lonely." She turns away. "You can be saved." 

Oh really. 

He cannot show how lonely he is. 

"If you want to I can save you." 

Can you. 

"Yes, I can." 

She has a heartbreaking smile. "But you have to want it. You can't sit there and wait for it to happen. You have to want to be saved." 

What do I want? All I want is embodied in the way she says my name. 

"Sam." 

"Stephanie." 

Then she is gone. Was she ever really there? 

Whether she was or not, he needed to hear his thoughts. 

He leaves the hall considerably more fulfilled. 

** if you want to, i can save you   
    i can take you away from here   
    so lonely inside, so busy out there   
    and all you wanted was somebody who'd care... **   


  


End file.
